The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Howard Tayler

Hi. I’m here to enlist.You can’t. You aren’t human.You see, little fella, we don’t do sociological stuff like “interspeciated workplaces.” We’re a crack company of space mercenaries. We do “hurting people” and “breaking things.”Sounds like my kind of fun.-Schlock & Lieutenant Der Trihs

first-lines, humour, mercenary, violence

Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it’s on the far side of the airlock.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

airlock, humour, mockery, rules-to-live-by, sci-fi

Oh, that’s great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we’ll get a nice explosive package from him that says “so nice to see you again” in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.

captain, explosives, humour, mercenaries, sarcasm

The Tausennigan Ob’enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?””Yes, they do, and they’d cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!””I guess that explains their rich military history, then.

artificial-intelligence, contradictions, cuddly, humour, military, overreaction, warlord

Kevyn, I’m promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons.Munitions Commander? Why me?I don’t know. Call it “suspicion of extreme competence” on my part.-Captain Tagon & Commander Kevyn Andreyasn

competence, humour, military, promotion, sci-fi, weapons

Right now I’ve got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don’t taunt elephants.Rule two: don’t stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock

elephant, humour, rules, rules-to-live-by, taunt

Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead “guilty” you’ll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.””Not guilty.””Also, it’s not very nice to lie in court.””But it beats extradition.

court, extradition, guilty, humour, not-guilty, tight-spot

Maxim 37: There is no “overkill.” There is only “open fire” and “reload.”-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

humour, overkill, rules-to-live-by, violence

Spy’ is such a short ugly word. I prefer ‘espionage.’ Those extra three syllables really say something.

espionage, humour, spy, vocabulary

Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

humour, military, rules-to-live-by

Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.

gun, humour, panic, violence

Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy. No more. No less.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

caution, enemies, humour, rules-to-live-by