The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Adam Rex

Why would a vampire create a younger vampire if there was a possibility the young one might end up destroying the old one?’Stephin stared. ‘If you can explain to me how this is different from parenting in general I might know how to answer that.

parenting, vampires

Ohh,’ said the girl with a sad tilt of her

Woah,’ I said, blocking the doorway. ‘You can’t come in here. This is the girls’ r

alien, gender, humor, politeness

There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.

aliens, dead, smekday, spiders

Sometimes you really want to say “Duh,” but you can’t. It’s a part of growing up, I guess.

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

There’s a little bit of magic in every box!

cereal, funny, magic

Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals.

Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father’s new tattoo.

funny, name, play-doh

Polly Esther Doe was born at 8:03 a.m. on August 14.

funny, name, polyester

…a row of tables manned by seated, serious women. Each woman looked like she could be someone’s least-favourite aunt.

aunt, funny, women

He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.