Category: Cathleen Falsani

Cathleen Falsani

Everyone experiences grace, even if they don’t realize it. It’s kind of like Moby’s music. You could ask your average sixty-something-year-old retired banker in Connecticut if he’s ever heard of Moby and/or his music and the response you’d receive more than likely would be a resounding, “No—what’s a Moby?” But if you say, “Remember that American Express commercial where Tiger Woods is putting around New York City? Remember the song playing? That was Moby.” “Oh, then, OK. I guess I have heard Moby,” our theoretical retired banker in New Canaan might say. “So … what exactly is a Moby?” That’s like grace. Not that grace is a pretentious vegan techno-rocker, but you get the idea. Grace is everywhere, all around us, all of the time. We only need the ears to hear it and the eyes to see it.

Cathleen Falsani

When Annunziata said she loved me or any of her thousands of other friends and beloveds, she was really saying, at least in my mind, “God loves you.” To quote the singer/songwriter James Taylor, she showered the people she loved with love, always showing the way that she felt without holding back. Even as her body could barely contain her soul any longer, she’d open wide the gates of herself with a smile, that giggle, her twinkling eyes, and she’d let the supernatural love flow through her. Walking out of the chapel after her funeral, a woman I’d never seen before stopped me and said, “You’re Cathleen, aren’t you?” “Yes,” I croaked, tears rolling off my nose as I fingered the prayer card with Annunziata’s picture on it. Slipping an arm around my shoulders, the woman explained that she was one of Annunziata’s former students and said, “She loved you so much.” I know.

Cathleen Falsani

Such arguments remind me of a scene from Woody Allen’s movie Manhattan, where a group of people is talking about sex at a cocktail party and one woman says that her doctor told her she had been having the wrong kind of orgasm. Woody Allen’s character responds by saying, “Did you have the wrong kind? Really? I’ve never had the wrong kind. Never, ever. My worst one was right on the money.” Grace works the same way. It is what it is and it’s always right on the money. You can call it what you like, categorize it, vivisect it, qualify, quantify, or dismiss it, and none of it will make grace anything other than precisely what grace is: audacious, unwarranted, and unlimited.

Cathleen Falsani

God can and does use anything God chooses to get our attention. Who’s to say the hawk wasn’t sent as an agent of grace to catch my wandering attention and quiet what Buddhists might call my “monkey mind,” which is more often than not swinging wildly from branch to branch on intellectual and emotional trees. On the way back down the hiking trail after my encounter with the hawk in Big Sky, I stopped thinking and started looking and listening. That’s when I realized winter was turning into spring before me. Change was happening. Creation, and perhaps the Creator, was speaking. I just needed to be outside to hear the voice.