The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Christian Lander

Christian Lander

White people are drawn to farmer’s markets like moths to a flame. In fact, white people have such strong instincts that ifyou release a white person into a random Saturday morning they will return to you with a reusable bag full of fruits and vegetables.

farmers-markets, food, humor, white-people

Christian Lander

If you are able to introduce a white person to a new cheese, it’s like introducing them to a future spouse.

cheese, food, humor, white-people

Christian Lander

For white people, nothing makes them appreciate the gift of life more than voluntarily trying to end it.

adventure, humor, white-people

Christian Lander

Right now, all white people are either wearing or coveting a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. These sunglasses are so popular now that you cannot swing a canvas bag at a farmer’s market without hitting a pair. In fact, at outdoor gatherings you should count the number of Wayfarers so you can determine exactly how white the event is. If you see no Wayfarers you are either at a country music concert or you are indoors.

fashion, humor, sunglasses, white-people

Christian Lander

You don’t have to be white to be white, you just have to be rich.

Christian Lander

This is because white people need to show off the books that they have read. Just as hunters will mount the heads of their kills, white people need to let people know that they have made their way through hundreds or even thousands of books.