Category: Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

You don’t seem to understand,” I whispered. “It’s Christmas relationships that are worrying Carol and me so! It worries us dreadfully! Oh, of course we understand all about the Little Baby Christ! And the camels! And the wise men! And the frankincense! That’s easy! But who is Santa Claus? Unless—unless—?” It was Carol himself who signaled me to go on. “Unless—he’s the Baby Christ’s grandfather?” I thought Derry Willard looked a little bit startled. Carol’s ears turned bright red. “Oh, of course—we meant on his mother’s side!” I hastened to assure him.

Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

And while you and the rest of your kind are battling together—year after year—for this special privilege of being ‘bored to death,’ the ‘real girl’ that you’re asking about, the marvelous girl, the girl with the big, beautiful, unspoken thoughts in her head, the girl with the big, brave, undone deeds in her heart, the girl that stories are made of, the girl whom you call ‘improbable’—is moping off alone in some dark, cold corner—or sitting forlornly partnerless against the bleak wall of the ballroom—or hiding shyly up in the dressing-room—waiting to be discovered!

Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

Then Night came down like the feathery soot of a smoky lamp, and smutted[9] first the bedquilt, then the hearth-rug, then the window-seat, and then at last the great, stormy, faraway outside world. But sleep did not come. Oh, no! Nothing new came at all except that particularly wretched, itching type of insomnia which seems to rip away from one’s body the whole kind, protecting skin and expose all the raw, ticklish fretwork of nerves to the mercy of a gritty blanket or a wrinkled sheet. Pain came too, in its most brutally high night-tide; and sweat, like the smother of furs in summer; and thirst like the scrape of hot sand-paper; and chill like the clammy horror of raw fish.

Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

Why, I’ve been all over the world, I tell you, and fairly loafed and lolled in every conceivable sort of ease and luxury, but the Soul of me—the wild, restless, breathless, discontented soul of me—never sat down before in all its life—I say, until my frightened hand cuddled into his broken one. I tell you I don’t pretend to explain it, I don’t pretend to account for it; all I know is—that smothering there under all that horrible wreckage and everything—the instant my hand went home to his, the most absolute sense of serenity and contentment went over me.