The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Emo Philips

Probably the worst time in a person’s life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it’s been a pretty good day.

Life, Time, Good

Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

Leather, Just, Through

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Forgiveness, Night, Me

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Me, Chess, Boxing

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses you would have sworn she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord in his wisdom didn’t work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.