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Category: François Lelord

François Lelord

Eros is not tranquil – it gives us spikes of happiness rather than a constant feeling of wellbeing. It’s the love we feel at the beginning of a love affair and corresponds to the expression ‘falling in love’ since it is as involuntary an impulse as a physical fall.

Love, Beginning, Fall

François Lelord

He had fallen in love with her emotions, and that was a very profound feeling indeed.

complex, emotions, feelings, love, lovers, profound

François Lelord

those who believed in the Good Lord, for whom death was just a journey, and it didn’t make them sad at all

death, die, peacefully, willingly

François Lelord

Knowing and feeling are two different things, and feeling is what counts.

feeling, knowing

François Lelord

Basically, having a gift for happiness was a bit like being good at maths or games: it depended partly on the development of the brain after you were born, ad even before, but also on how your parents or other adults had brought you up when you were small. And of course on your own efforts and subsequent encounters.’Nature or nurture,’ said the professor. ‘Whichever way, the parents are to blame!

brain, happiness, nature, nurture

François Lelord

He wondered why he wasn’t as in love with her as he was with…Hector had only shared enjoyment with (her)…he shared everything, enjoyment and sorrow…but for some time now they’d shared too much frustration, boredom and fatigue.

boredom, enjoyment, fatigue, frustration, love, sorrow

François Lelord

Adeline was really rather charming, she always had a man in her life, but it never worked out: either they were nice but she didn’t find them very exciting; or they were exciting but she didn’t find them particularly nice, or they were neither nice nor exciting and she wondered why she was with them at all. She found a way of making the exciting men nicer and that was by leaving them. But then, they weren’t exciting anymore either.

dating, love, men, relationships

François Lelord

Or rather, he was sad because that morning he’d understood that he’d understood nothing, because while he still understood nothing he wasn’t sad at all, but now that he’d understood that he’d understood nothing he felt sad, if you follow.

confusing, logic, sad, sadness, thought, thoughts, tongue-twister, understanding

François Lelord

Some people, very many actually, both men and women, complained of having enjoyed a very loving relationship with someone, but of no longer feeling the same way despite still being very fond of that person, with whom they generally lived.

feeling, relationship

François Lelord

…it’s a mistake to think that happiness is the goal. I’m not sure I understand.” “I was referring to the goals which you in your civilization are so good at setting yourselves, and which incidentally allow you to achieve many interesting things. But happiness is a different thing altogether. If you try to achieve it, you have every chance of failing. And besides, how would you ever know that you achieved it? Of course one can’t blame people, especially unhappy people, for wanting to be happier and setting themselves goals in order to try to escape from their unhappiness.

happiness, psychology

François Lelord

Because they know that people will be kinder to a child who smiles.

children, kindness, smile

François Lelord

Happiness. We’re tearing our hair out to try to find a definition of it, for heaven’s sake. Is it joy? People will tell you that it isn’t, that joy is a fleeting emotion, a moment of happiness, which is always welcome, mind you. And then what about pleasure, huh? Oh, yes, that’s easy, everybody knows what that is, but there again it doesn’t last. But is happiness not the sum total of lots of small joys and pleasures, huh?

happiness, joy, philosophy-of-life, pleasure, psychiatry