The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Jeff Dunham

When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going; there was no reason to quit.

Myself, Mirror, Records

It’s amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There’s some sort of unspoken license… when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.

Amazing, Human, Say

There’s some sort of unspoken license… when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.

Things, Come, Some

Jeff- “A Hanukkah tradition is making potato pancakes. For something a little different, use a sweet potato. Anything you’d like to add, Walter?”Walter- “Accept Jesus as your Savior or you’ll burn in Hell for all eternity.

christianity, christmas, funny, jeff-dunham, walter-the-puppet

Jose: Do not drop me senorJeff:i wont drop you,joseJose:then i be jose jalapeno on the floorPeanut:do a little tap dance and we got salsa!Jeff:Thats terrible!Peanut:not with the right chips its notJeff:stop it! im sorry josejose:its okayjeff: okayJose:ill kick his ass laterpeanut:i’ll turn ur ass into guacamolejeff: stop it!peanut: i will stir u with ur own stick!jeff:stop it!peanut: this is the way we stir the guac stir the guac stir the guac. OLE!!