The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Joey Comeau

Wait,” I say. “Aren’t soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a girl? What if he’s a fixer upper? What if he has an STD?

perfect, sad, soulmates

There’s something not quite Christian about it,” Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on the shelf. “I can’t put my finger on why exactly, but it doesn’t seem right for a couple of young ladies to be out there in the middle of the night, obsessing over their telescopes.

Kissing girls is easy, like breaking windows.

We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn’t race for a hurricane or a burning building. I’d rather die terrified than live forever.

disaster, living-life, love

I break into heterosexual houses so I can masturbate in their heterosexual kitchens

heteronormativity, lgbt

She needs you, Dad,” Julia says. “She has unfinished business in this world.””What is the matter with you?” Charlie asks his daughter. “Any sane person would have told me to go to the doctor. I’m seeing a headless apparition every day. Maybe my medications are conflicting. You should see the list of side effects on this stuff.

I can’t believe he stabbed the guy. Eight years old. I’m the most irresponsible kidnapper ever.

funny, kidnapping