Category: Nenia Campbell

Nenia Campbell

I was cyber-bullied before all those Myspace-related suicides, so my school principal wasn’t really impressed when my mom complained about what was happening to me on my Xanga blog and on AIM chat.“Get your life sorted out, you fucking scitzo [sic] dyke tranny bitch,” one comment might say.Another comment would say something like, “I know she’s reading this, she’s so pathetic.”And, perhaps most frightening of all: “I’m going to fuck you up until your mother bleeds.

Nenia Campbell

People say hate is like a poison — but they’re wrong. It’s like a drug. You never forget your first hit, how it seduces you with its strength and power, and takes you completely by storm. It colors your world in light and meaning, until you wonder how you ever managed to get by without it. And then, eventually, you get to a point where you can’t. It takes over your life, until hating becomes your reason for living.

Nenia Campbell

That’s not cruel. This is. You come here in the middle of the night, expecting me to be awake, and ask—no, demand—me to give you things that belong to me as much as they belong to you. Never mind what it does to me. Never mind that each time I see you, I wonder if I’ll ever hold you in my arms again, or be able to touch you without you cringing away like I’m a monster. I think it’s fair to ask if there’s an ‘us,’ my dear, because I suspect you’re trying to use me just now. Tell me that’s not cruel, and I’ll let you go.