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Category: Patrick Somerville

Patrick Somerville

My heart was crazy now; it’s too complicated to know what it was beating for, and how much of it was him and how much of it was the hunting – I think I cared about the deer that got shot – but it didn’t matter then. Something was there and its source was irrelevant. It was so easy to feel nothing, all the time, and I held on as hard as I could, because the worst thing, I thought, now, would be for it to go away.

Patrick Somerville

He nods, then squints across the room. “Not all those who wander are lost,” he says. He’s still squinting. I wonder if he’s practiced this squint – a squint-stare off into the metaphysical distance. I’m realizing he’s kind of handsome. But then again, it might just be that he cares about something.”What is that?” I ask. “Did Jesus Christ say that?””No,” he says. “Bilbo Baggins said that.

bilbo-baggins, lost, metaphysical

Patrick Somerville

A week goes by and I don’t call Lucy or Dylan. I want to drift away from them – more than anything, I want to drift away. I sometimes imagine myself totally alone and I enjoy the feeling. And I mean something by alone, something more than the word holds. I mean something blank and pure and vacant, plus me. And also moral. This blank and pure vacancy that includes me that is also moral is so empty, it is so no one, that my presence in it makes me not exist, although I am still there, and that’s what lifts all the weight.

alone, aloneness, drifting-apart