Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how’s that Columbia degree working out for you? Not so good, huh? Sorry about that. Really! But you know, a college degree isn’t like some cheap used car. There’s no warantee. Right, there’s no Lemon Law either. Buyer beware! Look, Pedro, I don’t want to call security again. Yes, I know they’re your cousins. What’s that? You’ll wash my car for a dollar? Well, I guess that’s a good deal. Where’s your sponge bucket? What’s that? You’ve got a hose? What do you mean, it’s tucked in your pants? Hey Pedro — no, no, no don’t — aw, Pedro!

Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how’s that Columbia degree working out for you? Not so good, huh? Sorry about that. Really! But you know, a college degree isn’t like some cheap used car. There’s no warantee. Right, there’s no Lemon Law either. Buyer beware! Look, Pedro, I don’t want to call security again. Yes, I know they’re your cousins. What’s that? You’ll wash my car for a dollar? Well, I guess that’s a good deal. Where’s your sponge bucket? What’s that? You’ve got a hose? What do you mean, it’s tucked in your pants? Hey Pedro — no, no, no don’t — aw, Pedro!

– Eric Foner –

The New American History

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