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To the extent that one is responsible for one’s life, one is alone.

To the extent that one is responsible for one’s life, one is alone.

– Irvin D. Yalom –

Existential Psychotherapy

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Even in your closest friendships, you’re alone. Maybe it’s your best friend who, in fact, reminds you, just by making it her business to try to know your heart, that no one can – that our fate is to suffer in isolation and then die. But it’s our collective fate! So I guess I’m an optimist.

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To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it it is the movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit,l from the outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful clinging to the fearless play.

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The study showed that chronic loneliness impacts out bodies as negatively as smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. Not the same way, of course, just the life risk part. And there’s more bad news. The article went on to say that lonely people had worse reactions to flu shots that non-lonelies (I think I just made up that word; my computer put a red squiggly line under it) and that loneliness depresses the immune system. On other words, if you’re lonely, not even your body wants to be around you, so it tries to off itself.

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