Defining your own truth and then living according to it … changes your sense of self and sets you free; it makes you fearless — or at least more courageous — with every significant person in your life. When you’re not so insecure, there are things — offhand cruelties, insensitivities large and small — you don’t tolerate, things you don’t have to deny…. Once you are the one who determines the meaning of your life, nobody can gainsay it. This act of self-assertive defiance immunizes you — at least to a certain extent — from ever allowing someone else to control your destiny ever again.

Defining your own truth and then living according to it … changes your sense of self and sets you free; it makes you fearless — or at least more courageous — with every significant person in your life. When you’re not so insecure, there are things — offhand cruelties, insensitivities large and small — you don’t tolerate, things you don’t have to deny…. Once you are the one who determines the meaning of your life, nobody can gainsay it. This act of self-assertive defiance immunizes you — at least to a certain extent — from ever allowing someone else to control your destiny ever again.

– Jeanne Safer –

The Golden Condom: And Other Essays on Love Lost and Found

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