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When your family dismisses you, like Lotto’s did, you create your own family

When your family dismisses you, like Lotto’s did, you create your own family

– Lauren Groff –

Fates and Furies

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Erich Maria Remarque

We were never very demonstrative in our family; poor folk who toil and are full of cares are not so. It is not their way to protest what they already know. When my mother says to me “dear boy,” it means much more than when another uses it.

She would have liked to love. It was terrible to think she had never loved her son as a man. Sometimes her hands would wrestle together. They were supple, rather plump hands, broad and not yet dry. But wrestling like this together, they were papery and dried-up. Then she would force herself into some deliberate activity or speak tenderly to her good husband, offering him things to eat, and seeing to his clothes. She loved her husband. Even after the drudgery of love she could still love him. But sometimes she lay on her side and said, I have not loved him enough, not yet, he has not seen the evidence of love. It would have been simpler if she had been able to turn and point to the man their son, but she could not.

That’s the kind of shit you do for the people you love, even when you don’t want them to know. You don’t have to tell someone you love them. You scream it with your actions. See, you may say you don’t love him, but your actions speak louder then you ever could. So, put your bow down and just tell him. I’m sure it’ll be better received without a weapon in your hand.

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