Tag: bible, commuting

After leaving Egypt, Moses and his people endured a forty-year commute, starting with a truly epic crossing of the Red Sea (which made getting through the Lincoln Tunnel at rush hour seem like traipsing across a country bridge in a sundress on a spring afternoon).

But surely the commute that defines the era was Noah’s voyage aboard his eponymous ark, and to this day it remains the most epic commuting story ever told. As most people know, God felt that Earth had essentially “jumped the shark” (or “raped the angel” as they used to say back then), so rather than try to fix it, He instead decided to simply wash everyone away in a great flood and start over from scratch–just as you might do to your computer’s hard drive if it has a really bad virus. So God spoke to Noah and commanded him to build an ark, aboard which he’d carry two of every animal in the world….Thus was born humankind’s lust for gigantic vehicles, for God’s instructions to Noah were basically the world’s first car commercial, and the sales pitch was this: Large vehicles are your salvation.