The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Tag: cats, humor

Christopher S. Wren

So Nikki came aboard as Jaqueline’s spare cat, presumably in case our prime cat, Eliza, goes on vacation, takes industrial action, or requests a personal day.

The human race can be roughly divided into two categories: ailurophiles and ailurophobes – cat lovers and the underprivileged.

Lilian Jackson Braun

No one had ever accused Koko of being naughty. Perverse, perhaps, or arrogant, or despotic. But naughtiness was beneath his dignity.

Tichakorn Khroopan Hill

There is no known cure for severe affection for one’s cat. The only way to relieve the symptoms is to go ahead and launch a kiss attack.

Majid gave me a brief dazzling golden stare and then half-lidded his eyes again. I know when my life is being threatened.

Jonathan-David Jackson

A cat is friendly in a hollow sort of way, like the way a prostitute is friendly.

If you can love cats, you can love human beings, because you have to be able to love them without getting them at all.

Robert A. Heinlein

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Look, cat, you and I are never going to be friends. She’s going tocall you Max, but I’m going to call you Shit Head. And if you think forone second—” The cat lies down in a tight little ball of nastiness andfalls asleep. “Oh, please. Make yourself at home by sleeping on myscrotum.” I peek out into the sitting room area that connects to thefour bedrooms, and then glance back at the kitten. Releasing a sigh ofdiscontent, I pet Shit Head with one finger. He purrs extra hard, andI find myself wondering if I could train him to do things. Every heroneeds a sidekick, and I’m nothing if not a Grade-A Hero. – Dante Walker

Ty rested his hand on Zane’s chest again and closed his eyes. Zane turned his head with infinite care and kissed Ty’s forehead.Wesson gave him a warning growl.“Mine,” Zane told the cat.

Francesco Marciuliano

LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME I-Oh, uh, helloI did not expect an answerI did not expect an entranceI did not expect this room to be so unbelievably dullSo, uh, goodbye

Christopher Moore

I’m poor and my cat is huge.