The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Tag: fantasy, humor

Even though I was fairly certain God wasn’t Ted Bundy, I kept an open mind, since this phone call was getting a bit confusing.

Diana Wynne Jones

Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. “Why I am I holding a dog full of angels?

William Goldman

Love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.

The abbot cleared his throat. “You are all very stupid people,” he told them graciously, “and you do not know anything at all.

Terry Pratchett

In fact the Gods were as puzzled by all this as the wizards were, but they were powerless to do anything and in any case were engaged in an eons-old battle with the Ice Giants, who had refused to return the lawnmower.

Jax scratched his head, grinning. “Hey – is that a cannon of epic proportions, or is it just happy to see us?”“Cannon,” the brass skull clicked. It lowered itself to the ground, swiveling down into the snow. “Cover your ears and get down.

Yes,” Curran said. “We’d like you to officiate.”“I’m sorry?”“We’d like you to marry us,” I said.Roman’s eyes went wide. He pointed to himself. “Me?”“Yes,” Curran said.“Marry you?”“Yes.”“You do know what I do, right?”“Yes,” I said. “You’re Chernobog’s priest.

Fafhrd stopped, again wiped right hand on robe, and held it out. “Name’s Fafhrd. Ef ay ef aitch ar dee.”Again the Mouser shook it. “Gray Mouser,” he said a touch defiantly, as if challenging anyone to laugh at the sobriquet. “Excuse me, but how exactly do you pronounce that? Faf-hrud?””Just Faf-erd.

So far I had the god of evil and the god of terror on my side. My good-guy image was taking a serious beating. Maybe I should recruit some unicorns or kittens with rainbow powers to even us out.

Today was “ananthropomorphic day”: once a month, the gods got to take a holiday from humdrum humanoid shapes and look any way they wanted. Since most gods are versatile shape-shifters and/or have god-awful taste in clothing, this meant that temporary blindness or at least a good headache was lurking around every corner. It was meant to boost morale. It usually sank his.

Lucifer had been ranting his endless laundry list of complaints for forty-five minutes now, and Louhi still didn’t know exactly what she was supposed to apologize for. There was something about her plant having eaten his cape while he had been waiting, as for the rest… She wished she could read an immortal’s thoughts, but their brains were constructs, simulations… Which actually explained a lot.

Only in Xanth would parents see a dragon looming over their children and depart with confidence.