The largest website for English phrases and quotes

The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Tag: funny, humor

These three man,” Mimi said, “are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short.””How many are missing?” I asked.”Last night she had twenty,” Harvey said, shutting the station door, “and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing.””At least.” I agreed.

I should need to be a herd of elephants, I thought, and a wilderness of spiders, desperately referring to the animals that are reputed longest lived and most multitudinously eyed, to cope with all of this.

Julie Anne Peters

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose

Michael Stearns

The Evil Enchanter appeared in a cloud of smoke. He waved his arms to fan away the fumes, and when he quit coughing, he said, “You’ve come to rescue no one. Now that you’re here, you shall marry me.” He waved his arms once, and a priest appeared in a cloud of smoke. After everyone quit coughing, he turned to the priest and said, “Marry me!”The priest said, “But I don’t know you.””No, no, no!” said the Evil Enchanter. “Marry me to the princess!””Oh,” said the priest. “That’s different.

Why is she afraid?” he asked. “She’s not Anjin-san. Just a little nervous. Please excuse her. She’s never seen a foreigner close to before.” “Tell her when the moon’s full, barbarians sprout horns and fire comes out of our mouths like dragons.

What is that?” Dad said, looking at the doll.”It’s called the Scream,” I said.”I know that, but what us it?” Dad said.“Maybe she sleeps with it,” I said to Dad as he tucked it under his arm.“Then no wonder it’s screaming,” he said.

Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace!

Hannah Harrington

And even if we did, which we didn’t, it’s none of your business.””Okay.””I just wanted you to know.””Okay.””If you say okay one more time, I’m going to punch you in the solar plexus.”His eyebrows jump. “The solar plexus, huh?””Yes,” I say. “I’m not exactly sure where that is, but I will find out. And then I will punch you there. Hard.

Kelley Armstrong

I’m going to need to save you.””Excuse me? No one needs-“”I’m saving you, so shut up and be grateful.

You’d be surprised.” Charlie said.”You go to bed one night singing her a lullaby, and she wakes up listening to Limp Bizkit.””What the hell is Limp Bizkit?

Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the only one? ‘Cause if Ric didn’t eat garlic then my breath’s gonna stink and he’ll think… Oh for fuck sake, shut up internal dialogue!

It was a little difficult to take him seriously when he sang along to a song about a woman taking another woman’s man.