Thomas Hardy

He’s the man we were in search of, that’s true, and yet he’s not the man we were in search of. For the man we were in search of was not the man we wanted.

He’s the man we were in search of, that’s true, and yet he’s not the man we were in search of. For the man we were in search of was not the man we wanted.

– Thomas Hardy –

Three Strangers And Other Stories

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Guy Finley

What’s the first sign of a lurking, hidden expectation you didn’t know you had? Pain! People don’t do what we want, things don’t happen quickly enough, the weather doesn’t cooperate, our bodies don’t cooperate. Why are these moments so painful? Because our minds are focused on a static, unchanging, me-centric picture while the dynamic unfolding of a broader life continues around us. There is nothing wrong with expectations per se, as it’s appropriate to set goals and work, properly, towards their fruition. But the instant we feel pain over life not going “my way,” our expectations have clearly taken an improper turn. Any moment you feel resistance or pain, look for — and then let go of — the hidden expectation. Practice giving yourself over to what “you” don’t want. Let the line at the store be long. Let the other person interrupt you. Let the nervousness make you shake. Be where your body is, not where your mind is trying to take you.

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