Nowhere is moral shortcoming more prevalent than in the intersection between our espoused morality and the way we engage romantic and sexual partners. In truth, how we function sexually is a microcosm of the way that we are in the world. We might ask ourselves, “Are we being selfish, considerate, or dismissive? Are we minimizing, compliant or controlling?” Sex is the ultimate laboratory where we can actually try out new ways of relating to ourselves and our lover, being conscious and mindful of how we impact another person. It takes great humility to open a genuine exploration of our lived–not just stated–morality. But to live by the dictates of our own internal compass brings equally great joy, serenity, and self-respect.

Nowhere is moral shortcoming more prevalent than in the intersection between our espoused morality and the way we engage romantic and sexual partners. In truth, how we function sexually is a microcosm of the way that we are in the world. We might ask ourselves, “Are we being selfish, considerate, or dismissive? Are we minimizing, compliant or controlling?” Sex is the ultimate laboratory where we can actually try out new ways of relating to ourselves and our lover, being conscious and mindful of how we impact another person. It takes great humility to open a genuine exploration of our lived–not just stated–morality. But to live by the dictates of our own internal compass brings equally great joy, serenity, and self-respect.

– Alexandra Katehakis –

Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

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