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The largest website for English phrases and quotes

Category: Paula Poundstone

Paula Poundstone

I’m thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

Good, Vision, Memory

Paula Poundstone

I’m thankful for Sarah Palin’s vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

Alaska, Box, California

Paula Poundstone

I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.

Music, Time, Children

Paula Poundstone

I’m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Funny, Savings, Bag

Paula Poundstone

I have a very silly sense of humor. I’ve never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

Life, Silly, Sense Of Humor

Paula Poundstone

I used to watch ‘The Waltons’ and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

Family, Sense Of Humor

Paula Poundstone

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up – ’cause they’re looking for ideas.

Paula Poundstone

I fall short of her standards. She made me buy cat food that hasn’t been tested on animals. My cats took one bite of it, spit it out, and yelled, “Did no one test this?

Paula Poundstone

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

Paula Poundstone

It is my wish to die of unique causes, perhaps in a high-speed tricycle crash, a bizarre stapling incient, or as a result of inadvertently sucking my brains out through my ear while trying to untwist the vacuum hose.

Paula Poundstone

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

death, sin, taxes

Paula Poundstone

People need each other. Our well-being is tightly tethered to the well-being of people we do not know, most of whom look nothing like ourselves. Happiness, I realized right there in breathing class, requires engagement.

community, happiness