Tag: comedy, humor

Lee Mack

Everyone says it’s wrong, ‘drinking and driving’, don’t they. I can tell you two things that are far more dangerous than ‘drinking and driving’: 1. ‘drinking’; 2. ‘driving’.Do you know how many people were killed last year in Britain as a direct result of alcohol abuse?–thirty-five-thousand!Do you know how many people were killed as a direct result of driving a car?–twenty-two-thousand!Do you know how many people were killed as a direct result of drinking _and_ driving?–five-hundred! ::pauses::I’m not taking any fuckin’ chances!::swigs his beer::

Julia Quinn

Sebastian,” Katarina said, turning to her nephew. “You’ve grown.” “It happens,” Sebastian quipped, flashing her his usual lopsided grin.“Goodness,” she said with smile, “you’ll be a danger to the ladies soon.”Harry very nearly rolled his eyes. Sebastian had already made conquests of nearly all the girls in the village near Hesslewhite. He must give off some sort of scent, because the females positively fell at his feet.It would have been appalling, except that the girls couldn’t all dance with Sebastian. And Harry was more than happy to be the nearest man standing when the smoke cleared.

Judith McNaught

Sir Eustace was with Royce and Stefan looking over some maps when he was informed by the guard that the ladies were asking for him. “Is there no end to her arrogance!” Royce bit out, referring to Jenny. “She even sends her guards on errands, and what’s more, they run to do her bidding.” Checking his tirade, he said shortly, “I assume it was the blue-eyed one with the dirty face who sent you?”Sir Lionel chuckled and shook his head. “I saw two clean faces, Royce, but the one who talked to me had greenish eyes, not blue.””Ah, I see,” Royce said sarcastically, “it wasn’t Arrogance that sent you trotting away from your post, it was Beauty. What does she want?